16 9 / 2014

Why make a schedule if your not going to stay with it?!?! My math teacher has been off schedule for the past two weeks. I would prefer going by schedule instead of not by schedule. Its really annoying. I have a migraine now because of this mix up.

06 9 / 2014

I always had a problem with believing i was an addict… i couldn’t understand definition of an addict until i had to do an essay with a conspiracy experience. My experience with addiction and the theories about weed not being a drug and not getting addicted to it. As i wrote out my story, i realize when i became and addict and how… not every addict has a horrid story of jails vs death. I am one of those addicts who thankfully didn’t have to hit rock bottom for me to stop. However, i have still need healing and i still need understanding. Looking forward to getting that soon.❤

06 9 / 2014

So I’ve had this on my heart since father’s day…
I don’t really know my dad… he didn’t raise me. I was raised by his parents. My sister had posted on instagram, on father’s day, about how great of a father he is. After reading that, i felt anger. Not towards her directly but anger because i can’t say that about my dad. I have no clue who my dad is. And i didn’t realize this emotion towards him until i saw that post. I have no idea what to do or how to cope with this. Tonight i realized my step brother is doing the same thing. He got married to a woman who has a child and is taking care of or raising him and i want to ask him how can u do that when u have another child? How can u just ignore ur first child? I would like to know that… i would like an understanding of that… a man’s point of view and emotion while he’s doing that… i want to know if the man still feels for the child or feel guilty because of it… i want to know…. 😕

05 9 / 2014

That moment when u can imagine u and your special someone spending a life together. ❤

01 7 / 2014

I decided to forgive you…
Then u broke my heart and crushed my hopes…
I decided to fall for you…
Why did i fall for you…?

26 6 / 2014

haven’t heard from my boyfriend since last night, so i’m assuming we’re done. i’m not actually surprised. i actually saw it coming. however my dumbass decided to fall for him so i’m a little hurt. you’d think you’d prepare yourself for such pain… wrong-o! no preparation could never stop you from hurting. lesson learned. never date a guy who swears up and down he’s leaving his girl.

26 6 / 2014

and again i am disappointed… 

20 6 / 2014

The things u do for me…
They surprise me each time…
Not one can compare to u my dear…
I find myself truly loving you.
I didn’t think that such thing could happen…
That u would really love me like u say.
That all my expectations would be wrong.
That in itself surprised me.
As each day passes by,
Dare i love u truly?
Dare i love u completely?
Dare i risk putting my heart on the table?
Dare i give u my heart to have and to hold?
Dare i…?
With all thats gone on and that is going on,
Dare i say i do?
Stress and all,
Anger and all?
Sadness and all?
Everything i go through,
Dare i love you?
Dare i love u faithfully?
Dare i put aside my doubts, my concerns, just to say i love you?
Dare i scream to the world “I LOVE THIS MAN!”?
….yesss….